Is Couples Therapy right for you?

Please take some time to explore these resources about couples therapy, including how to assess your current relationship satisfaction.

WHAT IS THE Gottman Method?

The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication, increase intimacy, respect, and affection, remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy in conflicting situations, and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship. Read more…

What’s your Love Language?

The 5 Love Languages® profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment. Take the quiz here!

Why don’t you accept insurance?

Insurance companies are only willing to pay for medically necessary services.  Couples therapy does not fall into this category.  In order to try to make it fit, therapists sometimes will bill under one partner’s insurance.  In order to do this, they have to diagnose that individual with a disorder and then the clinical notes must show that, in therapy, that disorder is being treated.  If I am working with a couple and one partner has Bipolar disorder, while we may work through how the Bipolar disorder impacts the relationship, I am not actually treating the disorder itself. 

Why are Your Sessions 90 minutes?

I have found that 50 minutes is simply not enough time.  When I was doing sessions in that duration, I often found that at approximately the 45-minute mark, we would either be on the brink of something great or the couple would be in crisis.  Although 90 minutes can sometimes feel like a little too much time, I would rather have that problem than scramble to wrap up the session at a critical point. 

How Long will we be in Treatment?

While I cannot give you a specific answer to this because it varies from client to client, I can say that without doubt the length of time will directly correlate with the amount of work you do at home.  Often times people believe the “work” happens in my office but this is honestly not the case.  While the work we do collaboratively is critical, the work you do together outside of my office is what will make therapy successful or not.  The harder you work at home, the less time you will need with me. 

What sets you apart from other therapists?

I have extensive additional training in couples therapy. The reality is, most Master’s level clinicians, took at most 1 couples therapy class in graduate school unless they were in a Marriage and Family Therapy Program. In order to get that training, you have to seek it out yourself, which I have. In addition to completing all three levels of the Gottman Method trainings, I studied at the Denver Family Institute while I was in graduate school at The University of Denver. I have also attended multiple other couples therapy related trainings and am scheduled for several more this year.

What makes the Gottman Method so special?

Its pragmatic approach makes it relatable for most couples. Think of it as a box filled with the essential tools you will need to build a strong foundation for your relationship. One of the Gottman Method principles is the Sound Relationship House. In our sessions, I will help you build a stable, strong partnership by giving you the skills necessary to manage any future conflicts and communicate more effectively.

Why do couples seek therapy?

Couples come to me for a variety of reasons.  Some come because they are newly involved and they want to develop a positive relationship dynamic from the beginning.  Others come because they are struggling a little with small issues in their relationship and need to get back to good habits.  Others come when they have really lost their way and need help finding the path back to each other.  And others come following a serious event that has rocked the relationship to the core.  This could be a significant loss, such as the death of a child, or infidelity.  The bottom line is, it doesn’t matter why anyone else seeks therapy, if you and your partner want help doing the necessary work to make a relationship strong – therapy is for you!

Is there hope after an affair?

There is, under certain circumstances.  Most importantly, the affair has to be over.  Next, the individual who had the affair must take full responsibility for the pain that his/her actions caused his/her partner. Both partners must be willing to honestly look at the relationship and dig deep to figure out what led to the affair.  This is never to say that the person who had the affair is not responsible for his/her actions, it simply means that there are often relationship issues and/or voids that contribute to the decision to act in that manner.  John Gottman’s research found that, following an affair, 73% of couples who engaged in Gottman Method Therapy went on to have successful marriages. I have personally seen the positive transformation that can happen in a relationship following infidelity.  Sometimes it is the rock bottom that a couple needs to do the work necessary to strengthen and save their relationship. 

How do we deal with Domestic Violence?

If you are a victim of domestic violence, Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence has a complete list of resources and where to get started. You can also contact me and I will do my best to help guide you to the best resource. If you are in imminent danger, contact your local police department or dial 911.